Random Ramblings

I’m Busy

November 9, 2020

Do you have a long to-do list? Are you running out of ways to procrastinate? Then you’ve come to the right place! Here is a list of 30 ways to avoid being productive: 

  1. Write other lists. A list of your favorite cats, things you want to learn how to draw, and the best places to buy cronuts. The possibilities are endless! 
  2. Pet a dog. Your dog, my dog, your neighbor’s annoying barker. Please ensure that it is actually a dog and not a wolf or coyote. I take no responsibility for any injuries. 
  3. Brush your teeth. But seriously, please brush your teeth. 
  4. Mismatch all your socks. 
  5. Write “match socks” on your to-do list. Feel proud of yourself for doing something. 
  6. Re-imagine a famous painting on your pinky toenail. I don’t recommend the Mona Lisa. 
  7. Move all your furniture out of the house and sing. It’s important to test the acoustics. 
  8. Give all your furniture away. It’s not worth moving back in, and it’s important to be charitable. 
  9. Learn the actual lyrics to all your favorite songs. 
  10. Forget the actual lyrics to all your favorite songs and rewrite them, Starbucks lovers! 
  11. Practice super dramatic fainting. Is there a way to faint undramatically? Try that, too. 
  12. Watch your least favorite movie over and over until you learn to love it. 
  13. Test the permanency of Sharpies. On your walls, your carpet, and your face. Document your findings in a scientific journal. Profit.
  14. Start a blog about dolphins. 
  15. Open 11 different bank accounts so you can tell people you’re financially diverse. 
  16. Complain about the weather, even if it’s sunny with a high of 75. 
  17. Put on a blindfold and reorganize your kitchen. Remove your blindfold and try to find everything. 
  18. Start a penny collection. Save up until you have $1 to add to each of your bank accounts. Profit again. 
  19. Core all your apples. 
  20. Start a gratitude journal. Only add pictures of chickens. Name every chicken. 
  21. Turn all of your favorite movies into puppet shows. Feel free to change the endings. We all know Jack should have lived, Rose! 
  22. Create your own bird watching club. Don’t invite anyone but the birds. 
  23. Rename every crayon in the box. Tickle Me Pink is just not as good as Broderick. 
  24. Sign every book in your house.
  25. Learn one or two different words in every single language. Write a very difficult to read novel. 
  26. Buy a pizza from 7 different restaurants. Eat one slice of each. Regret everything. 
  27. Learn to play the guitar upside down. 
  28. Mix and match company slogans. I’ll start. Bounty: Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
  29. Host a super exclusive, fancy dinner party. Only invite people who look exactly like you. I’ll see you at my house on Friday, Scarlett Johansson. 
  30. If all else fails, take a nap. Refuse to wake up until people stop expecting you to be productive.

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Kristina Guglielmi
Kristina Guglielmi
6 months ago

But can you ever really regret eating pizza?

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